A Divine Champion
by theonlydudeonfanfiction
Summary: Dovahkiin Xerxes finds himself in a strange plane of Oblivion... In fact, he's on a huge stone table, surrounded by the many Daedric Princes, who all happen to be fighting over who's champion he'll be!
1. Chapter 1

What? A new Skyrim fan fiction? It cannot be!

(Don't worry. Runa, My sweet will be updated in less than a week. I have a chapter written, I just need to tweak it a little.)

If you don't know, I have the same character for Dovahkiin as I do in Runa, My sweet. It takes place in the same universe as Runa too. But I case you haven't read it….

Name: Xerxes

Gender: Male

Race: Imperial

Hair: Brown Mohawk…thingy. And a short beard.

Size: Taller than the average Imperial, about as tall as a high elf (6'5"-ish)

Armor: Ebony armor, gauntlets and boots. And an iron helmet

Xerxes sat up and held his head. His head was pounding, his vision blurry. Where in Oblivion was he? He remembers riding from Whiterun to Falkreathe hold, on his way to take care of something from the Companions. Then, a falling sensation and…

"Shh! Guys, he's awake!" Wait, whose voice was that? Was it…Sanguine? He rubbed his eyes as his vision focused. He was sitting in some kind of throne, not unlike a Jarl's. But as he stretched his neck to look further, he jumped.

He was at a massive stone table? Where in the…

"Morning sunshine…" he looked over to see a grinning, giggling, and very massive Sanguine sitting at the table. In fact, there were many massive people at the table.

"Sanguine, keep yourself in order." A massive dragon huffed from across the table.

"Eh, don't get your scales ruffled, Peryite. Lil' ale never hurt anyone." He tipped the bottle over and gulped the last few dribbles.

Wait, Peryite? Sanguine? Was he…oh no. He was in a special plane of Oblivion with all Daedric princes surrounding him. He stretched his neck and looked around. Yes, it looked like all Daedric princes are here.

The most frightening of the Princes was Namira. She appeared as a corpse. Dirty, tangled hair fell down her shoulders. Her grey skin shriveled and hung off her body in some places. Her lips and cheeks were completely rotted, revealing her crooked teeth. She had no eyes, just empty sockets as black as the darkest midnight. Her hands were but skeletal bones. All kinds of bugs crawled in and out of her nose, eyes and mouth.

"Hello, my lovely champion." Namira looked at him.

"Hello." He replied meekly. He heard a scoff.

"You guys haven't left him any shadows to hide in like I requested. He is a Nightingale, after all." Nocturnal crossed her arms. She was in a black cloak with the hood up. Crows perched on her arms.

"Get over it Nocturnal," Hircine snarled, "He's a strong werewolf. He doesn't need to hide in the shadows like a pansy." Hircine was a muscular man with a deer skull for a head.

"Excuse me? At least my followers can go to Sovngarde." Nocturnal growled.

"Calm yourself sister." Azura put a hand on Nocturnal's arm. "We have more urgent issues at stake.

"You're right." Mehrunes Dagon stood up, "We've held a meeting to discuss me taking the Dragonborn as my champion."

"Excuse me? That's not what this was about at all. I remember." A grotesque mass of tentacles objected; Hermaeus Mora. "I remember us agreeing that it was to decide who would have him."

"Then, the meeting shall be brief. I have decided I will have him as my own." The four-armed Mephala smirked.

"Everyone shut your mouths! We shall let him choose for himself!" Clavicus Vile leaned down closer to Xerxes, "Choose me, and I'll grant your wildest wishes." He whispered.

"Now we're resorting to bribery? 'Cuz I can do that. Go with me and you'll have complete access to my plane of Oblivion. Where mead flows like water and babes as far as the eyes can dare to see." He finished off another bottle of ale.

"Ugh. You people are terrible at bribery. In fact, you guys are all straight up evil when it comes to mortals. I'm the only really kind Daedric prince." Meridia pointed to herself. "Just imagine, together we will rid the world of scum like draugrs and vampires!"

"He doesn't need nice, he needs strength! Like me, Malacath! Father of Orcishkind!" Malacath declared.

"Oh what fun!" Sheogorath popped a cheese into his mouth. "This is more fun than that time I turned that woman into several instruments! Or when I build a shed with a rooster named Gustavo! But really, I want him because he's a mortal. And mortals have cute little toes!" Sheogorath laughed heartily. Boethiah sighed.

"This is a waste of time, even for a daedra. Honestly, he was in the Dark Brotherhood. The cult of plots!"

"No, he's mine. He became MY champion first!" Molag Bal shouted, a muscular man with a bull's head. Vaermina leaned down.

"How's this for a bribe. Choose me and you won't get hideous nightmares for the remainder of your existence." She hissed.

"Threats? You've sunken lower than I expected, Vaermina." Namira scoffed.

"Like you're so peaceful? You're cult fucking eats people!" Molag Bal retorted.

"At least I don't have enslaved mortals." Namira scoffed.

"Both of you shut up!" Mehrunes Dagon snapped.

"Shut up, Dagon! He's mine!" Peryite growled

It wasn't long before the meeting erupted into petty jabs and arguments. Xerxes sat back on his throne and sighed, leaning his head on his hand.

"Shove it up your ass, Mephala!"

"Be quiet, Nocturnal! No one likes your crows!"

"Cheese!"

"Go sit in the corner, Sheogorath!"

Suddenly, a booming thunder stopped everyone in his or her tracks. A doorway of light split the darkness and several figures stepped out.

And scene!

What do you think? Plz review!

This'll just be a few chapters long.


	2. Chapter 2

The figures of Akatosh, Dibella, Mara and the rest of the 9 Divines stepped through the golden doorway.

"What in oblivion is this nonsense?" Akatosh demanded.

"Ah, Akatosh, Arkay, Julianos…. We haven't seen you in quite some time." Molag Bal said with a smirk.

"Dibella, looking lovely as always." Sanguine purred. The table expanded and chairs materialized as the deities took their seats at the table.

"You too, Sanguine. You don't look a day over 5000." She brushed her luxurious golden hair. Mara looked down at Xerxes.

"Is it really necessary to have the hero of Nirn to be this small?" She flicked her hand and Xerxes suddenly felt himself growing. Soon he was sitting at the head of the table, in his proper scale.

"Thank you," he smiled at her.

"Of course, dear." She looked at the Daedric Princes, "You know why we're here."

"Sorry, but Molag-Bal has claimed his soul." He crossed his arms. Namira snorted.

"Whatever." She mumbled, "He's mine."

"Stop this." Julianos grumbled, "You act like spoiled children, fighting over a toy or something. We've come to sort out a solution for the afterlife of the Dragonborn. Right Arkay?"

"Right." Arkay pulled out some scrolls from under his robe. "I've come up with some options to right this ordeal. Option one:…" he squinted at the scroll, "Feed his soul to the void, no one gets him." Everyone in the room grimaced.

"No, what a waste of raw power." Mephala said.

"Not to mention he deserves an afterlife." Shor stated, giving Mephala a sour look.

"Ok, scrap that," the scroll suddenly combusted, burning up immediately. Arkay produced another scroll.

"Seal him away in a crypt and awaken him as needed. Kind of like that vampire girl…. What's her name?"

"Serana." Meridia said bitterly.

"No, that won't work." Zenithar shook his head.

"Ok…" Again, the scroll was gone and quickly replaced by another, "When his time of passing comes, I just don't take his soul?"

"No, no. Then he shall be damned to wander the earth as a shade." Talos shook his head."

"Then…I don't have any more ideas. I've never dealt with anything like this." Arkay shook his head in disbelief.

"He needs somewhere to rest his soul. We need a solution at this moment." Tsun declared.

"Well, how about he chooses me? To live in Sovngarde forever?" Shor grinned.

"I see where this is going…" Xerxes said to himself.

~~10 Minutes Later~~

"Mine! The hall of Valor awaits you, Dovahkiin!"

"The hunting grounds!"

"The Shivering Isles!"

Xerxes stood up and took a deep breath. He shouted something, anything, in the dragon language. The thundering sound made the room silent.

"Now that you all can now listen to me… I have an idea."

And scene! Tell me what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

Xerxes walked along a serene forest path, whistling contentedly. It really was a drag having all those deities arguing over him. Lucky for him, his solution seems to a good one for him. Well, until they all start fighting again.

"All of us getting a body part to rule over…" Meridia sighed, "It's a… unique idea."

"I like it," Julianos quipped from inside Xerxes' cranium, "Ive never taken a close look at the mortal mind. Very fascinating to observe."

"I'm cramped down here. Can we switch Nocturnal?" Namira whined from the toes.

"Hmm…. Nope." Nocturnal retorted from the left shoulder.

"Speak for yourself, Namira. I have tons of room here. This guy's hung!" Sanguine said from the genital area.

"Hush, all of you." Xerxes said, beginning to blush, "I'll never be able to hire any followers if I have to quiet you up all the time. They'll think I'm insane.

"Why would you need followers when you have the power of MOLAG BAL inside?!" A certain voice shouted from the right fist. Xerxes just sighed and continued walking, blocking out the inner dialogue from a chattery group of gods and goddesses.

Suddenly, he stopped, spotting a saber cat lying in the sun a few meters away.

"Ooh! An animal! Hunt it!"

"Shh… Hircine. He'll hear me talking to you. I don't want to wake him up just yet."

"Just sneak away and you'll be fine." Nocturnal whispered.

"No, make peace with the animal!" Kynareth and Mara insisted.

"I'd cleverly devise an attack plan." Talos said from the biceps.

Xerxes drew his ebony sword and began sneaking up. A mere meter from the animal, he raised his weapon. Just before he struck down, the animal rose up and swiped at him. Just before he blocked the blow, he was interrupted.

"Wait!"

Xerxes got knocked off rhythm and caught a powerful knock from the animal straight into a tree trunk. He hit it with a strong _thwack _and groaned.

"Sheogorath! What the hell!" he shouted in anger.

"What, I was just wondering why doesn't anyone notice that-"

"We have bigger issues here!" The saber cat turned around and began to stalk towards Xerxes. He took a deep breath.

"FUS!"

"Wait, why don't you just sneak off!"

"RO!"

"You should have just used archery!"

"DAH!"

The air thundered as the beast was tossed away as if it was a rag doll. Xerxes sighed.

"This isn't working."

"Then what do we do?" Mephala whispered.

"I don't' know." He stood up and groaned.

"I may have an idea." Akatosh said.

"Oh? What do you have in mind?" Azura said.

"Well…"


End file.
